Modern Family Episode Guide

Here is the episode guide for Modern Family. Each episode has the title, writer, director, and a description listed. The descriptions are sourced from locations such as Wikipedia and official press releases

Click on a season to drop it down or up

22 - Double Click

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 2.1 Audience: 6.79
Claire can’t seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while, back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to reenter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitch butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City

21 - Crazy Train

Written By: Jon Pollack and Ryan Walls Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 2.1 Audience: 7.16
Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good but his overenthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself

20 - Promposal

Written By: Stephen Lloyd Directed By: Ken Whittingham
Rating: 2.2 Audience: 7.42
With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria confront Auntie Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work, and with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his “promposal” while Cam helps with Manny’s, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there maybe something deeper going on

19 - Man Shouldn’t Lie

Written By: Andy Gordon Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 2.2 Audience: 7.44
 Claire brings home a stray dog and gets the kids to help her hide it from Phil while she tries to find its owner. Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. Elsewhere, Gloria invites a new couple over even after Jay has made it clear he doesn’t want to make any new friends, but when the husband turns out to be a real guy’s guy, Jay might be eating crow

18 - The Party

Written By: Vali Chandrasekaran Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 2.3 Audience: 7.51
Manny and Luke are in charge of babysitting Lily so that the adults can enjoy a day to themselves. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out at the movies; and Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight. Things start going awry though when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, and Claire is convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party

17 - Express Yourself

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 2.4 Audience: 7.69
Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire; the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired but try to push through it. Meanwhile, Jay has taken over their bathroom remodel, which proves to be pretty hazardous for Gloria, Manny and Joe. Cameron’s sister Pam is staying at the house after her husband has left her, but her emotional outbursts are driving Mitchell crazy, and he’s afraid it’s setting a bad example for Lily. And Haley and Andy go on a wild night bender

16 - The Cover-Up

Written By: Chuck Tatham Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 2.5 Audience: 8.14
Phil has a new client who happens to be “his type,” and knowing that might get him in trouble with Claire, he tells some seemingly innocent lies, which then lead to more, and soon enough he’s in a full spiral. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects her yoga instructor has the hots for her and asks Claire to come with her to class, but the instructor ends up giving Claire a lot of inappropriate attention, and she likes it. Now that Jay is retired, he is filling up his time making a web show but becomes obsessed with tracking down a hateful troll who is leaving horrible comments. And Mitch and Cam try to teach a skittish Lily how to ride a bike by leading by example, but easier said than done

15 - I Don’t Know How She Does It

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 2.6 Audience: 8.22
Claire has somehow turned into super mom, running Jay’s closet business and yet still has time for all the duties at home. The kids could not be happier, but Phil could not be more frustrated. Unbeknownst to him, Claire has a secret weapon called a personal assistant. Meanwhile, Joe is going through a fussy phase, and Jay and Gloria are beyond sleep deprived, so they both cut some corners that they know the other would not like and go to great lengths not to get caught. And Mitch and Cam are treated like second-class guests at their friends’ wedding, which Pepper has organized, and they spend the whole time figuring why and who they offended

14 - The Storm

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 2.5 Audience: 8.10
A huge thunder storm brings wide power outages and the whole family congregates at Jay and Gloria’s to use their generator, but Jay has one foot out the door desperately trying to make it to a reunion with some old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Phil tries to be the hero and redeem himself after a very embarrassing public panic attack earlier, but only causes more headaches for everyone. Mitch and Cam grasp at straws trying to salvage Lily’s birthday party where the most popular girl at school is in attendance, and Haley turns up the seduction efforts with Andy

13 - Thunk in the Trunk

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Phil Traill
Rating: 2.4 Audience: 7.48
Now that Claire has been running the closet business for a while, she and Phil have fallen into a new rhythm, with Claire assumingthe role of the wheeling and dealing breadwinner and Phil as the invisible housewife, but Phil will not stand for being ignored and underappreciated for long. Meanwhile, Jay lets his jealousy get the best of him when a life-size cutout of Gloria for her grocery store hot sauce display solicits all kinds of unsavory attention from men, so he enlists Manny as his accomplice in a poorly orchestrated heist. And, Cam and Mitch are being extra hospitable to get better reviews for their rental property, but when the new renters start acting undeniably suspicious, they can’t help but snoop

12 - Clean for a Day

Written By: Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 2.6 Audience: 7.80
Before Claire officially takes over Jay’s closet business, she decides she must get the house in order and make the family clean out the clutter; unfortunately, Phil and Luke can’t bear to part with anything, and Alex digs up old feelings when she finds Sanjay’s sweatshirt. Newly into retirement, Jay decides to get a new hobby – piloting a plane – but the danger puts Cameron into a tailspin of worry. And elsewhere, Gloria wants to connect with Jay more and decides to pick up his favorite game of golf, and ropes Mitchell into teaching her

11 - Spread Your Wings

Written By: Vanessa McCarthy & Ryan Walls Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 8.17
Claire hopes to help the ducklings move out of the house while Phil is visiting Alex at college; Jay helps Mitch with Lily's sleepover; Cam, Gloria and Manny must meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline.

10 - Playdates

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Claire Scanlon
Rating: 2.8 Audience: 8.35
Claire and Phil have dinner plans with this great couple they met on vacation; the only problem is they never pick up the bill, so Claire insists Phil be strong this time and make them pay. Gloria organizes a playdate with a couple that appears to have a lot in common with them – they also have a young son Joe’s age, but the husband is in his eighties and Jay takes it very personally. Elsewhere, Haley, Alex and Luke are surprised when Uncle Mitchell comes over to cash in on the birthday coupon they gave him for a belated celebration, so they scramble and end up on an impromptu tour of celebrity homes

09 - White Christmas

Written By: Andy Gordon and Jon Pollack Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 2.6 Audience: 8.20
In an effort to have the picture-perfect white Christmas she’s always dreamed of, Gloria rents a cabin in the mountains for the whole family to celebrate the holiday. Unfortunately, when they arrive, there are some unexpected factors like the weather and an eccentric random guest, who is already staying in the cabin. Meanwhile, the family are also preoccupied with their own agendas Mitch and Cam determined to make up for their bad caroling performance from last year. Haley and Andy can’t keep their hands off each other, and Jay has a huge announcement to make that catches Claire off guard

08 - Clean Out Your Junk Drawer

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 2.4 Audience: 7.35
Gloria won a bid at the school auction for a family seminar with famed doctor and author Debra Radcliffe, whose self-help book 'Clean Out Your Junk Drawer' encourages people get out all their emotional junk to become healthier people and in turn better partners and spouses. Jay is resistant to the whole experience and can't get away fast enough; Mitch and Cam decide to keep it very surface level so they can come off as super stable; and Phil and Claire also make it competitive and strive to be the best and strongest couple of the group. Things quickly escalate, though, as junk starts flying. Elsewhere, Haley and Alex meet up and counsel each other on their boy problems

07 - Phil's Sexy, Sexy House

Written By: Stephen Lloyd Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 2.8 Audience: 8.38
Even though Halloween is Claire’s holiday, she allows Phil to take over this year. So, instead of her usual fright-fest theme, he decides to turn the house into AwesomeLand! Gloria picks out Princess Fiona and Shrek costumes for her and Jay, but Jay decides he wants to be Prince Charming – complete with a full head of gorgeous hair – and with the hair comes a new sense of confidence. Elsewhere, Cameron gets overwhelmed by the day’s activities and Mitchell has closing arguments for a huge case, and it doesn’t help that the stenographer is dressed like a spider

06 - The More You Ignore Me

Written By: Vali Chandrasekaran Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 8.15
Claire and Phil have their hands full when Luke gets arrested for driving without a license, then they catch Alex sneaking out of a liquor store, but that’s on top of Phil dealing with some personal insecurities. Elsewhere, Cam tries to convince Gloria to recreate and sell her family’s hot sauce while Mitch helps Jay shoot a video to accompany his Titans of Industry award. And Haley and Dylan have an awkward encounter with Andy and Beth at the movies

05 - The Verdict

Written By: Chuck Tathum Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 7.80
Claire is excited to give Haley and Alex a great experience for “Bring Your Daughter to Work Day” but the staff is not making it easy, and Phil takes Luke and Manny’s class out for community service day, which becomes a teachable moment in more ways than one. Elsewhere, Gloria is thrilled to be on jury duty leaving Jay to help out at Joe’s pre-school and he is not happy about it at all. Cam and Mitch disagree over which of their friends to invite to their party, so could Gloria help mediate?

04 - She Crazy

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 7.88
Phil is all in on project hatch-the-duck-eggs, even building a whole habitat for them -- no one else is as enthused about this project and Lily is the only one suckered into helping him. Claire, meanwhile, is nervous about pitching her new closet ideas to Jay and his creative team, and for good reason it seems. And, Gloria and Manny help each other out with their respective "crushes," while Cameron develops an unhealthy attachment to the frat guys renting their upstairs unit

03 - The Closet Case

Written By: Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 7.99
Being the cool dad that he is, Phil helps Haley convince Claire to allow Dylan to move in temporarily, but after seeing how intimate living together means, Phil is having major second thoughts. Mitch takes on a much needed consulting job that just so happens to be for Jay’s biggest rival – Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets! – which doesn’t go over well with Jay, and elsewhere, Gloria and Cameron disagree on how to handle Manny’s girl problem at school

02 - The Day Alex Left for College

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Jeffrey Walker
Rating: 3.0 Audience: 8.72
Phil and Claire are feeling a little snubbed by their kids when Alex intentionally gives them the wrong college move in date to avoid making it a big deal, and Luke seems less than eager to spend the day with Phil at his open house and would rather go hang out with some guys from school. Elsewhere, the rest of the family concoct an elaborate story to get out of going to Lily’s soccer game which only adds to the stress Mitch and Cam are feeling now that they’ve added landlords to their resume after deciding to rent out the top unit for temporary stays

01 - Summer Lovin'

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.46
Haley’s attempt to stop Andy from proposing to Beth will end up with both Haley and Andy needing to cope with their emotions and both will have their own special ways of doing so, and Phil and Claire seem to only make matters worse. Jay and Gloria look at pre-schools for Joe and get a rude awakening after they realize the competitive wait list to get in. Meanwhile, Cam tries to remain supportive of Mitch’s midlife career crisis, but money is getting a little tight, so Cam comes up with a scheme to get Mitch’s old job back.
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24 - American Skyper

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 2.3 Audience: 7.20
The whole family is at Jay & Gloria’s for Alex’s graduation party, except for Phil who ingeniously figured out a way to be there via skype and a robotic vessel after being unexpectedly detained in Seattle on a business trip. During the celebration, Jay frets about Gloria’s cousin who has overstayed his welcome; Claire stresses out about giving Alex the perfect gift; Mitch hides news of being laid off from Cam, and Andy’s girlfriend Beth is in town stirring up a whole lot tension with Haley which finally leads to a realization that may have come too late

23 - Crying Out Loud

Written By: Megan Ganz, Stephen Lloyd and Chuck Tathum Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 2.7 Audience: 8.13
The family is determined to make Alex celebrate her senior ditch day and Phil, Luke and Haley forcefully take her out but end up at an unexpected detour. Claire is torn when she gets a job offer from a big hotel chain but feeling torn quickly gets replaced with feelings of confusion when she can’t tell whether or not Jay really cares if she stays or goes. And with Manny groggy off of pain killers from his wisdom teeth procedure, Gloria seizes the moment to put a sabotage plan into effect to break Manny and his new girlfriend up

22 - Patriot Games

Written By: Vali Chandrasekaran Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 2.9 Audience: 8.57
Alex's worst nightmare is realized when she gets news that she has to share the Valedictorian title with her number one competitor, Sunjay! Both sets of parents get equally caught up in the rivalry and convince Principal Brown to let them break the tie via a gym grade they both have not completed - a one mile run. Elsewhere, Gloria is studying for her upcoming U.S. citizenship test and a visit from Javier throws her off her game, and Mitch and Cam blindly agree to join a protest against a local restaurant that they are actually secretly excited about

21 - Integrity

Written By: Stephen Lloyd and Chuck Tatham Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 2.9 Audience: 8.00
Phil and Jay run an errand together to pick up Lily's hand me down princess castle for Joe, both though are in a mood because Phil is upset that Claire won't let him buy a videogame console, and Jay thinks Gloria is letting Joe play with too many girlie items. Mitch and Cam babysit Joe and both get the itch for another baby -- that is until Joe presents to be quite the handful! Meanwhile, Gloria tries to help Haley stand up for herself at work, and Claire tries to bribe Luke's principal to give him one of the student awards this year

20 - Knock 'em Down

Written By: Rick Wiener & Kenny Schwartz Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 3.0 Audience: 8.85
Jay agrees to sub in on Cam’s bowling team for the finals but Cam was not fully upfront about it being an all gay league, which puts Jay in a precarious position. Phil and Claire have a surprisingly good time with unlikely dinner companions, their neighbors Ronnie and Amber, and Gloria and Mitch agree to go clubbing with Haley to prove they’re still young and fun but they didn’t anticipate the pre-party portion of the night

19 - Grill, Interrupted

Written By: Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh and Jeffrey Richman Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 3.0 Audience: 9.43
Jay's birthday brings everyone together and Phil is beside himself over the super cool gift he got Jay, a high-tech outdoor grill. Claire and Mitch decide they will "offer" to pay back the money Jay loaned them ages ago as their gift not really thinking he will take them up on it, and Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking, while Andy gets real awkward with Haley when she brings over her new doctor boyfriend

18 - Spring Break

Written By: Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 2.9 Audience: 8.71
Spring break has Claire doing some spring cleaning, while Phil struggles with not being a spring chicken when Luke starts outperforming him at seemingly everything. Haley takes Alex to a music festival to take her mind off of colleges, and Gloria and Jay challenge one another to give up Spanish soap operas and cigars respectively. However, when Gloria accompanies Cameron to his faculty talent show, she projects the soapy drama she craves onto Cam’s rivalry with Senor Kaplan, and Jay tags along with Mitchell to pick up Lily from camp so he can sneak a smoke

17 - Closet? You'll Love It!

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.61
Jay and Claire scramble to shoot a Pritchett Closets commercial in response to their competitor's new and catchy ad, but there might be some creative differences between father and daughter. A peeping-Tom in the neighborhood keeps using a drone to spy on Gloria sun-bathing so Phil, Luke and Manny make it their mission to take it down. Elsewhere, a tone deaf Lily prepares to perform in her school talent show and Cameron is more worried about it than she is, and Haley's feelings for Andy become even more complicated when he gets rushed to the hospital with appendicitis

16 - Connection Lost

Written By: Steven Levitan and Megan Ganz Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.32
Claire’s computer becomes the hub of all the family’s activities when she gets stuck at the airport and is desperate to reach Haley after a big fight. After FaceTiming with Phil and the rest of the family to help track her down, Claire quickly turns to online snooping which inevitably becomes disturbing real quick and everyone gets sucked into the online drama

15 - Fight or Flight

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Steve Levitan
Rating: 3.1 Audience: 8.80
After a long reunion weekend with Phil's old cheer buddies, Claire jumps at the chance to snag the only first class seat left on the return flight home leaving Phil in coach and both have completely opposite experiences. Meanwhile, Gloria forces Jay to teach Manny how to defend himself against a bully in his cooking class, but when things backfire it seems that the real bully might be someone else. Mitch, Cameron, Pepper and the whole gang throw Sal a belated baby shower and they are all blown away by how motherhood has changed her, or has it really?

14 - Valentine’s Day 4: Twisted Sister

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 3.3 Audience: 9.77
Valentine's Day is here again which means "Juliana" and "Clive" are back, however, things get worrisome when Claire starts sensing Phil may be more into Juliana than her! Elsewhere, Jay goes from feeling disappointed to scared when Gloria's visiting sister, Sonia (guest star Stephanie Beatriz), becomes a larger deterrence for a romantic evening with Gloria than he thought. And, Mitchell and Cameron get themselves in a very precarious situation with their good friend Anders

13 - Rash Decisions

Story By: Anthony Lombardo and Clint McCray Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.87
Phil is starting to feel the teenage cold shoulder from Luke, and with Andy hanging around a lot recently as his apprentice, he easily steps in as his new right hand man. Meanwhile, Gloria and the doctors suspect that Joe might be allergic to Stella which leaves Jay in a very tough predicament, and Mitchell is doing some freelance legal work at Jay’s closet company and working with Claire becomes a very enlightening experience for the both of them

12 - The Big Guns

Written By: Vali Chandrasekaran Directed By: Jeffrey Walker
Rating: 3.0 Audience: 9.44
Claire is furious about neighbors Ronnie and Amber’s eye-sore of a boat on their front lawn and it soon becomes an all-out war when Phil calls in the “big guns” as back up -- his dad Frank and all his retired friends to give them a taste of their own medicine. Elsewhere, Jay is trying to potty train Joe but Gloria does not think he’s ready yet, and Cam secretly takes Lily to clown school behind Mitchell’s back

11 - The Day We Almost Died

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.29
While driving out to get breakfast, the Dunphys including Manny have a near death experience causing everyone to reevaluate their lives. Claire resolves to be more fun and less uptight, Haley and Alex agree not to fight anymore, Manny refuses to ever ride in a car again, Luke wants to check off his bucket list, Phil decides to be a take action type of guy and the rest of the family has to bear the brunt of all the new attitudes

10 - Haley's 21st Birthday

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 3.1 Audience: 9.69
Haley is turning twenty-one and the whole family is taking her to a bar to celebrate! Claire really wants Haley to start seeing her as a friend rather than her uptight mom, Mitch and Cam make the sad realization that they may not be as cool as they thought, and Phil and Jay’s quick pit stop to pick up Haley’s gift, a new car, becomes a disaster. Back at home, Alex, Luke and Manny babysit Lily and she decides to drop the ‘where do babies come from?’ bomb

09 - Strangers in the Night

Written By: Chuck Tatham Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 2.8 Audience: 9.02
When Alex tells Phil and Claire she has a boyfriend, they worry they've put too much pressure on her and has made up an imaginary boyfriend. Jay and Gloria both have parties that they are dragging the other to and Jay has a clever plan to get himself out of it, but Manny just might spoil everything. Mitch and Cam just got a beautiful white couch delivered but when Mitch is stuck helping out Brenda, a distressed co-worker, and allows her to stay - it is a mishap waiting to happen

08 - Three Turkeys

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 10.88
Phil is cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year with Luke as his sous chef and Claire has no confidence in them and prepares a secret turkey of her own as backup. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria had plans to spend the holiday away but when the trip gets canceled last minute, they decide not to tell anyone which quickly becomes the worst idea ever since the family dinner gets suddenly moved to their house and it turns into a mad scramble to cover their tracks. And, Mitch is tired of always being the bad cop so when Lily refuses to wear a nice dress to dinner he forces Cameron to deal with it who then comes up with a very unconventional approach

07 - Queer Eyes, Full Hearts

Written By: Stephen Lloyd Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.83
Phil and Claire don't know if they should be happy or concerned that Haley and Andy are spending a lot of time together, however, they soon find things are not what they appear. Gloria is pushing Manny to learn Spanish instead of French so she goes ahead and hires a Spanish tutor, Diego, who also happens to be very handsome, much to Manny and Jay's chagrin. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam meet a popular news reporter at a school function and one of them peaks her journalistic interest

06 - Halloween 3: Awesomeland

Written By: Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh & Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 9.92
Even though Halloween is Claire’s holiday, she allows Phil to take over this year so instead of her usual fright-fest theme, he decides to turn the house into AwesomeLand! Gloria picks out Princess Fiona and Shrek costumes for her and Jay but Jay decides he wants to be Prince Charming complete with a full head of gorgeous hair, and with the hair comes a new sense of confidence. Elsewhere, Cameron gets overwhelmed by the day’s activities and Mitchell has closing arguments for a huge case, and it doesn’t help that the stenographer is dressed like a spider

05 - Won't You Be Our Neighbor

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 10.16
Phil is selling the house next door and he and Claire are excited by the prospect of having wonderful new neighbors, but that quickly turns into panic when a loud and obnoxious couple come to look at the house. Jay forbids Manny to see his new girlfriend when he realizes she’s the granddaughter of his biggest business rival, leading to a clash of the closet titans. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam are determined to switch Lily out of Mrs. Plank’s class since she is known to rule with an iron fist – not to mention she scares them too

04 - Marco Polo

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.71
The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together but Claire and the kids are less than enthused. Gloria becomes over protective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl, and Cameron is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team's winning streak but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx, emotions run high

03 - The Cold

Written By: Rick Wiener & Kenny Schwartz Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.6 Audience: 10.63
Phil has to change his plans when a cold plagues his brothers-in-law's wedding video. Meanwhile, Jay, Gloria, and Cam disagree about Manny's place in the high school football team. Mitchell makes a new enemy while meeting Lily's friend Sydnee who happens to be a genius.

02 - Do Not Push

Written By: Megan Ganz Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 10.56
It's Jay and Gloria's anniversary and they can't seem to get on the same page on what kind of gift to give - sentimental or expensive? And, the Dunphys head to Caltech for Alex's college tour and while Claire is busy convincing her to choose this school and stay close to home, Phil, Luke and Haley branch off to participate in a psyche experiment. Mitch and Cam are taking a new family portrait with Lily to replace the old one above their mantel, but Lily gives some serious face

01 - The Long Honeymoon

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 11.38
This summer has been exceptionally blissful in the Dunphy house, Alex is away on a humanitarian trip and the rest of the family is getting along swimmingly, but when Alex comes home, there is an immediate shift in mood. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam have returned from their honeymoon and Mitch is acclimating to real life much quicker than the still lovey-dovey Cameron. And, Gloria has taken issue with how little effort Jay puts into his appearance and decides to give him a taste of his own medicine.
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24 - The Wedding Part 2

Written By: Megan Ganz, Christopher Lloyd & Dan O’Shannon Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 10.45
The wedding day chaos continue as the entire party shifts from one contingency plan to another. Guests start to get testy, Mitchell and Cameron are feeling discouraged and poor Claire shows physical wear and tear, but an unexpected turn of events leads to the ceremony we’ve all been waiting for

23 - The Wedding Part 1

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham, Ben Karlin & Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.08
Mitch and Cam’s big day is finally here and nothing can ruin it, until nothing turns into a whole lot of somethings and puts wedding planner extraordinaire Pepper Saltzman (guest star Nathan Lane) to the test. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria host the Tuckers, Phil squeezes in an eye procedure before the festivities and Claire embraces her role as “best woman”

22 - Message Received

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Jeffrey Walker
Rating: 2.9 Audience: 8.55
Jay, Gloria and Manny challenge each other to step outside their comfort zone and try something new. Mitch and Cam’s wedding is getting too big and costly so they resort to selling a couple of their prized possessions, and the kids play a joke on Phil and Claire

21 - Sleeper

Written By: Paul Corrigan, Brad Walsh & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 2.8 Audience: 8.39
Phil fails at his one task to stay home and wait for the repairman, forcing him to tell an elaborate lie to hide the truth from Claire, but the stress is more than he can physically handle. Meanwhile, Gloria is obsessing over the family portrait she is responsible for organizing this year. Claire accuses Cam of being too snobby to use her girls’ hand-me-downs and Jay secretly enters Stella in a dog show

20 - Australia

Written By: Elaine Ko & Danny Zuker Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 9.59
The entire family tags along as Phil fulfills his mom’s wish for him to return to his roots and visit the country where he was conceived, Australia. Unfortunately, Phil’s attempts to embrace his native land are met by a lot of rejection, while Jay and Claire let work eat into vacation time, and Mitch and Cam get reacquainted with an old friend they can’t stand but is now a big-time celebrity in Australia

19 - A Hard Jay's Night

Written By: Megan Ganz & Ben Karlin Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 3.3 Audience: 9.00
Mitch struggles to hide his genuine feelings about an unflattering wedding topper Cam's father made; Phil tries to help Gloria sell the apartment she had before Jay but they get sidetracked at a salon; Jay wants to host a nice family evening. 

18 - Las Vegas

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.3 Audience: 9.00
The adults are Vegas-bound when Jay hooks them up with Excelsior Level hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there’s an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone’s sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend’s bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay

17 - Other People's Children

Written By: Megan Ganz Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.39
It’s male-bonding day when Jay takes Luke into the garage to show him the way around tools and impart some manly wisdom, and Gloria goes with Claire and Lily to shop for Lily’s flower girl dress. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam, Alex and Manny go for a cultured day at the museum but it eventually becomes survival of the smartest. And Phil enthusiastically offers to help Andy with his anniversary gift to his girlfriend, which is an elaborate video expression of his love

16 - Spring-a-Ding-Fling

Written By:  Ben Karlin Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.22
Cameron is in charge of the school’s big spring dance, but when a popular teacher returns from sabbatical, a bit of not-so-friendly competition blooms. And with Claire on chaperone duty at the dance, Phil gets Haley to accompany him to his annual realtor’s banquet and is looking forward to impressing his little girl. Elsewhere, Mitch starts a new job and can’t seem to get a good read on the new boss or the work environment. Jay and Gloria babysit Lily and an accident with Gloria’s purse ignites a case of whodunit and it’s Lily’s word against baby Joe’s

15 - The Feud

Story By: Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 3.1 Audience: 8.52
Phil is upset to have lost his elected office of social chair to his nemesis Gil Thorpe, and when he finds out Luke is competing against Gil’s kid in a wrestling match, it becomes his own personal battle. Claire is nervous for a big client meeting but things get extra hairy when Mitch and Cam ask her to pick up Lily from school and conveniently leave out the fact that her class just had a lice scare. Elsewhere, Gloria chaperones Manny’s school field trip to the museum

14 - Ispy

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 9.87
Claire and Phil decide to spy on Luke and Manny as they’re hanging out with one of their more questionable friends. Meanwhile, Gloria is furious with Jay because she thinks he had a dream about another woman, but Jay misinterprets her anger for another offense he committed. And, Cam secretly uses Mitch as a scapegoat to get out of attending a party, while Haley tries to keep her photography exhibit a secret from her family

13 - Three Dinners

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham, Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 9.59
Phil and Claire take Haley out to dinner to discuss her future, but Haley manages to turn the tables. Elsewhere, Jay’s friend Shorty and wife Darlene are back visiting, and they have some news that doesn’t sit well with Jay. And, Mitch and Cam decide to have a nice, romantic dinner date where they don’t talk about the wedding or about Lily, which then leads to a lot of awkward silences

12 - Under Pressure

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.14
The high school open house puts the parents in a bit of a time warp when Claire finds herself stressed out by all the pressure, Gloria encounters a “mean girl” mom and Jay teaches Phil how to play a little hookie. Elsewhere, Mitchell gets defensive when he encounters his judgemental, environmentalist neighbor (guest star Jesse Eisenberg) and Alex goes to see a therapist

11 - And One to Grow On

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 9.51
Phil tricks Luke into taking a dance class, but the jokes on him when the white lie indirectly lands him in the slammer. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria are throwing birthday parties for both Manny and Joe and are concernEd Manny might be going for girls out of his league, and Mitch and Cam get a rude awakening in the cutthroat world of booking a wedding venue

10 - The Old Man & the Tree

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Bryan Cranston
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 10.61
Jay takes Manny out to cut down their own Christmas tree, and Gloria is on edge with mom in town, but changes her tune when she sees her bonding with Claire. Elsewhere, Mitchell is forced to do last minute shopping when they didn’t get Lily the right gift, and Cameron takes Lily to a charity event where they experience the true meaning of Christmas

09 - The Big Game

Written By: Megan Ganz Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.47
With a big football game coming up and a record to break, Coach Cam is intensely focused and showing no mercy even when the opposing team is playing with an unexpected disadvantage. Elsewhere, Claire is determined to prove to the staff that she is more than just the boss's daughter, and Phil tries to teach his kids a lesson about optimism, but the universe just isn't cooperating

08 - ClosetCon 13

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 10.19
With some urging from Claire, Jay begrudgingly agrees to return to ClosetCon this year, and things get interesting when Jay is reunited with some old colleagues. Cam takes Mitch and Lily to the Tucker family farm for the first time and is excited to fold them into country life, that is until Grams pays an unexpected visit. And back at home, Phil, Gloria and the kids get into some mischief involving Jay’s very delicate Apollo 13 spacecraft model

07 - A Fair to Remember

Written By: Emily Spivey Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 10.75
The family attends the annual school fair and Phil has a big 20th wedding anniversary surprise planned for Claire at the fairgrounds, but unfortunately, she simultaneously has a surprise for him back at home. Gloria signs Jay up to be a fair cop for the day and it gets worse when he’s partnered up with his nemesis. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam and Lily try to enjoy the fair but Cam is in a funk from the football team’s recent losing streak, and Haley has an awkward first encounter with Andy

06 - The Help

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 10.72
When Gloria hires a too-good-to-be-true male nanny, Jay and Manny are pretty much dead set against it. Frank is in town and feeling a bit lonely recently, so Phil and Jay take him out to help get his groove back. And, Mitch and Cam commission Pepper to plan their dream wedding, but Pepper might be dreaming a little too big

05 - The Late Show

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.94
Jay pulled a lot of strings to get reservations at the hottest new restaurant for a family adult’s night out. Unfortunately, in each household everyone is running late – Gloria is taking forever to get ready per usual, Claire and Phil get in a tiff about letting Luke stay home alone, and Mitch and Cam end up putting on the same outfit

04 - Farm Strong

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By:  Alisa Statman
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 10.64
In the 100th episode of Modern Family, Cameron's older, single sister Pam (guest star Dana Powell) is coming for a visit, and Cam is in a panic to hide the engagement until he can delicately break the news to her, but it turns out she has news of her own. Phil and Claire make a joint, guilt-ridden decision to miss one of Luke's volleyball games - that is - until one of them goes behind the other's back, and Gloria is in denial that she might need reading glasses

03 - Larry's Wife

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Jeffrey Walker
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 11.12
It’s the last game of the football season, and Cam is determined to become the first rookie coach in the school’s history to win more than two games. But he and the team have trouble keeping their game face on when they find out that the opposing team suffered a recent tragedy. Meanwhile, Claire continues to struggle at work, wanting to be seen as a colleague and not the boss’s daughter. Mitchell is having his own work related problem as he attempts to find the right moment to tell his boss that he’s quitting. Phil is intent on remaining positive even though he is facing his first month ever without a sale. And Gloria’s advice to Lily on making boys notice her has unintended results

02 - First Days

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 11.68
It’s a day of firsts for the Dunphy and Pritchett households. Claire is being groomed to take over Jay’s company and it’s her first day on the job, but things quickly go awry as it becomes clear that she and her father have very different management styles. Meanwhile, Luke and Manny are starting their first day of high school, and everyone’s battling nerves – especially Phil and Gloria, who aren’t ready for their babies to grow up. And Mitchell is forced to confront his jet setting, playboy boss

01 - Suddenly, Last Summer

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 11.68
In the first half of the hour the family is in the throes of summer activities: Phil and Claire are trying to orchestrate a kid-free week by coordinating Luke's camp with Haley's beach trip and Alex's volunteering excursion; Jay and Gloria are getting Manny ready for his first solo trip back to Colombia; and Mitch and Cam make it a summer to remember
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24 - Goodnight Gracie

Written By: Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.6 Audience: 9.92
Everyone flies down to Florida to be with Phil after his mom's passing. Claire helps Phil with Gracie's last wish for Frank, and the kids reflect on the gifts grandma left for them. Gloria has to contend with an outstanding arrest warrant in Florida, Cam finds himself fitting right into an elderly women's group at Frank's retirement community, and Jay runs into a pivotal person from his past

23 - Games People Play

Story By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Alisa Statman
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 10.03
Phil gets a brand new RV with high hopes of going on a fun family road trip, and Claire decides to let him learn the hard way why this will likely be a terrible idea. Meanwhile, Manny has misplaced his backpack and Jay and Gloria go with him on a hunt for it, breaking into Claire's house and then into Mitchell's house -- where they do some over-the-top snooping; and Lily's gymnastics meet brings out an unrivaled competitive spirit in Mitch and Cam

22 - My Hero

Written By:  Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.3 Audience: 9.02
Mitch's ex-boyfriend, Teddy, a very personable and successful doctor, invites the whole family to a fundraising event at the local roller rink, and they all run circles around each other as Cam tries to play it cool around Teddy, Claire avoids talking to Jay about inheriting his closet business, Phil teaches Gloria how to skate in spectacular fashion, Haley helps Alex talk to some cute boys, and amidst all the chaos Manny and Luke try to figure out whom they'll pick in their family for their "My Hero" essay assignment

21 - Career Day

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Jim Hensz
Rating: 3.6 Audience: 9.64
Phil is jazzed to share the wonders of residential real estate with Luke and Manny's classmates for career day, but unfortunately for Phil, his nemesis, Gil Thorpe, shows up and things get ugly. Meanwhile, Gloria challenges Jay's claims of always wanting to become a novelist, forcing Jay to take some shameful measures, and Mitch and Cam make a costly mistake while executing tooth fairy duties

20 - Flip Flop

Written By: Jeffrey Richman & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 10.38
Phil is pretty confident in his ability to sell Claire and Cam's flipped house, but when it proves to be a little harder than he thought, he recruits the whole family into taking some desperate, borderline crazy measures. Meanwhile, Javier is visiting Manny and brings along his new girlfriend (guest star Paget Brewster), which doesn't sit very well with Gloria

19 - The Future Dunphys

Written By: Elaine Ko  Directed By: Ryan Case
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.88
When Phil takes Claire to the hospital for her angiogram, they encounter a family that is basically their future selves, and they're not sure they like what they see. Manny drags Jay on a visit to a prospective private school, and Mitch and Cam organize a fun "girls day" for Gloria and Lily -- but it becomes a spontaneous "cultural day" instead

18 - The Wow Factor

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 9.09
Mitchell seeks to help Lily deal with a playground bully but goes too far in the process; Jay finds himself in trouble with Gloria when she finds him at a movie theatre during his babysitting time with Joe; Cam and Claire are at odds over their home renovation and seek to influence Cam's lesbian friend to side with their visions for a backyard idea; and Phil's plans to show Alex and Haley the joys of home improvement hit a roadblock.

17 - Best Men

Story By: Dan O'Shannon, Abraham Higginbotham & Bianca Douglas Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 10.53
Mitch and Cam's best gal pal, Sal, makes one of her notorious surprise drop-ins, but this time with big news - she's getting married... tomorrow! Cam and Mitch are the best men, but they can't help but question whether this party girl can really settle down, and they consider an intervention. Meanwhile, Gloria has trust issues with their new nanny, Claire has a rare bonding moment with Haley, and Phil helps Luke with a girl he likes

16 - Bad Hair Day

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 4.0 Audience: 10.62
Claire flies solo to her college reunion and runs into a professor she once dated, but when Phil shows up things get really awkward. Back at home, Jay is obsessed with winning his big bowling tournament, and Gloria is running ragged with the baby but won’t admit it. Mitchell offers to take baby Joe for a while, and Cameron seizes the opportunity to use him in one of his elaborate photo shoots. However, a wig malfunction leads to unfortunate results and no one wants to be the one to face Gloria

15 - Heart Broken

Written By: Danny Zuker  Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 10.05
A fun Valentine's Day romp between Phil and Claire's alter egos, Clive Bixby and Juliana, takes an unexpected turn that lands Claire in the hospital and with a diagnosis that she doesn't take lying down. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay's attempts to be romantic keep getting interrupted by the kids, which drives Gloria crazy, and Cam and Mitch host a wild Valentine's Day Lonely Hearts Party that leaves them hung over the next morning, trying to piece together what happened and, more importantly, why Dylan is now living with them,

14 - A Slight at the Opera

Story By: Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh Directed By: Jim Bagdonas
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 9.83
Cameron is putting on the school production of "Phantom of the Opera," but when their star falls ill, Manny pulls all the stops to land the lead -- even if that means going against Luke. Meanwhile, Jay teaches Phil to golf and they wind up in a golf-off with Pepper and Mitch; Gloria takes Alex along on errands which include a visit to a psychic; and Claire's adventures in babysitting Joe and Lily become a comedy of errors

13 - Fulgencio

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Lev L. Spiro
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.83
Gloria's mom, Pilar, and sister Sonia have made the voyage from Colombia, and they come bearing traditions, baby names and a whole lot of family baggage. Meanwhile, no one seems to have confidence that Phil will be able to help with the kids' problems, but there just might be a method to his madness. And Lily has picked up some bad habits, so Mitchell and Cameron try their hardest to mind their Ps and Qs to set a good example for her

12 - Party Crasher

Written By: Danny Zuker & Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 4.3 Audience: 11.01
With the baby coming soon, Jay and Gloria go to great lengths to throw Manny an extra special surprise party for his 14th birthday -- and there are plenty of surprises to go around! Meanwhile, Phil and Claire deal with a new much older guy that Haley has started hanging out with, and Cam becomes jealous of the special bond Lily seems to have with Mitch

11 - New Year's Eve

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham & Jeffrey Richman Directed By:  Fred Goss
Rating: 4.7 Audience: 12.04
Jay is so excited, having planned for the whole family to celebrate New Year's together at this great hotel in Palm Springs. However, when the hotel turns out to be less than stellar, everyone starts to branch off to do their own thing, leaving Jay dejected -- that is until he runs into the one and only Billy Dee Williams! Meanwhile back at home, Haley and Alex watch over the kids, which proves to be quite a challenge

10 - Diamond in the Rough

Written By: Dan O'Shannon, Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.94
Manny and Luke's little league team unexpectedly makes it into a playoff game, so Claire and Cameron scramble to find a location and decide to do a makeover on a rundown field. Inspired, Claire and Cam want to try their hand at flipping a house while they're at it, and Phil and Mitchell fight over who will be the bad guy to tell them no. Meanwhile, Gloria tries a bonding technique by using a microphone to sing to the baby in utero, which definitely incites a reaction from Jay

09 - When a Tree Falls

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 4.7 Audience: 12.01
Mitch and Cam try to save an old tree in the park; Jay takes Manny to a kid's Olympics-themed birthday party; Gloria and Claire have an eventful shopping trip.

08 - Mistery Date

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 4.6 Audience: 11.89
When Claire, Manny and Luke go to Alex's academic decathlon for the weekend, Phil throws a guys' night at home; Manny and Luke crash bar mitzvah's looking for a girl; Cam and Mitchell get Jay and Gloria a surprise baby gift.

07 - Arrested

Written By: Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 12.43
Phil and Claire get the dreaded late night call that Haley has been arrested for under-aged drinking, so they bring Mitchell, the family lawyer, in tow to the police station. Cameron stays back to watch over Alex and Luke, but they get into some crazy mishaps under his care. Meanwhile, Jay gets out of baby shopping with Gloria, but ends up having to deal with a surprise visit from Dede, and tries to scoot her out before Gloria gets home to prevent Dede from seeing that she's pregnant and to avoid the potential blowback

06 - Yard Sale

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.62
Jay and Gloria hold a yard sale to help Manny and Luke with their school's charity fundraiser, and the entire family pitches in: Phil feels pressured to both sell and buy something, Mitch and Cam help Claire assess Alex's new 'boy friend,' and Manny finds an old trunk that hides a secret Gloria wants to see remain a secret

05 - Open House of Horrors

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Jim Bagdonas
Rating: 4.9 Audience: 12.52
Claire has overdone it in Halloweens past and the neighbors definitely don't share her enthusiasm, so this year she's being forced to tone it down and keep it "kid-friendly," and Phil has an idea to hold an open house on Halloween night. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam host a costume party while contending with Lily wondering who her real mom is, and Gloria's pregnancy hormones are on overdrive, making her even more hotheaded than usual

04 - The Butler's Escape

Written By: Bill Wrubel  Directed By: Beth McCarthy Miller
Rating: 4.7 Audience: 12.28
Luke wants to quit magic and Phil just can't seem to accept it. Meanwhile, one of Gloria's new pregnancy symptoms is snoring and she's keeping the whole house awake, forcing Jay to take desperate measures; and Mitch and Cam's household dynamic is put to the test when they decide to swap duties -- Mitch staying at home with Lily while Cam goes off to work at his new job as the music teacher at Luke and Manny's school

03 - Snip

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.9 Audience: 12.31
Phil and Claire have a five-year plan, and that's to vacation and enjoy life once Luke leaves for college. In order to keep all that on track, Phil is going in for a vasectomy. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria disagree about whether or not to find out the sex of the baby; Gloria is in denial about needing maternity clothes; and now that Lily's in kindergarten, Mitchell tries to gently steer Cameron towards a part-time job to occupy all his extra time

02 - Schooled

Written By: Steven Levitan and Dan O'Shannon Directed By:  Jeff Melman
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 12.08
The day has arrived for Phil and Claire to drop Haley off at college, which is a difficult moment for any parent, but it's made worse when they manage to really embarrass Haley. Meanwhile, Manny forces Jay and Gloria to take a baby class... they humor him and go, but end up being a bit of a disruption; and Mitch and Cam drop Lily off for the first day of kindergarten, but when she gets into a tussle with another little boy, they end up having a meeting with the boy's confrontational lesbian parents

01 - Bringing Up Baby

Written By: Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 5.5 Audience: 14.44
Jay's birthday is upon us again and, as before, he makes it well-known that he wishes to keep it as low key as possible, with no grand gestures or surprises. But leave it to the family to miss the mark yet again! Phil takes Jay on a very unconventional fishing trip with his buddies, and Gloria struggles with how to break the pregnancy news to him. Meanwhile, Dylan moves into the Dunphy household temporarily, and Mitch and Cam decide to look into adopting a cat as they continue to cope with their failed attempt to adopt another child.
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24 - Baby on Board

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.07
Cam and Mitch are in processes of adopting a baby, and they use Gloria as translator; Jay and Manny babysit Lily; Claire and Phil send Alex off to her first prom; Haley has shocking news about her future. 

23 - Tableau Vivant

Written By: Elaine Ko & Jeffrey Richman & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.36
Gloria and Jay bicker while trying to order lunch at a diner; Claire and Cam have different theories on how to discipline kids; Luke accepts an award under false pretenses. 

22 - Planes, Trains, and Cars

Written By: Cindy Chupack Directed By: James Bagdonas
Rating: 4.4 Audience: 10.58
When the family travels to Disneyland, Phil struggles to keep up with Luke; Claire is stunned when they run into Dylan; Cam and Mitch must curb Lily's new penchant for running. 

21 - The Last Walt

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.06
Phil buys a car without consulting Claire; Jay is on a mission to get to his high-school reunion with Gloria and Manny; Lily loses her favorite toy on a train. 

20 - The Last Walt

Written By: Dan O'Shannon & Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.21
Claire tries to help Luke cope with the death of their neighbor, Walt; Phil and Alex spend some time together; Haley throws a pool party without permission at Jay & Gloria's house; Cameron's father visits. 

19 - Election Day

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Bryan Cranston
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.35
On Election Day, the family does some last-minute campaigning for Claire; Claire experiences technical difficulties during interviews. 

18 - Send Out the Clowns

Written By: Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richman & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 4.5 Audience: 10.60
Cameron's former clown partner comes to town. Meanwhile, another real estate agent obtains a listing Phil was trying to land. Elsewhere, a new friend of Manny's has Gloria and Jay suspicious. 

17 - Leap Day

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 11.63
Mitchell feels pressured to make Cameron's birthday extra special; people start to question Jay's manliness; the girls interfere with Phil's leap day plans. 

16 - Virgin Territory

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 11.54
It's a day of disturbing realizations when Mitchell manages to ruin one of Jay's proudest golf moments, Phil overhears something that may forever change how he sees his little girl, and Gloria stumbles upon Claire's dangerous little secret. Luke and Manny try to get Lily into trouble because she is too cute . 

15 - Aunt Mommy

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham & Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.7 Audience: 11.23
After selling a house to Mitch and Cameron's friends, Claire and Phil plan a celebratory dinner; overindulging in drinks leads to over sharing. 

14 - Me? Jealous?

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 5.5 Audience: 12.90
Claire believes that Phil's new prospective client is inappropriate, but she cannot convince a trusting Phil. Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell stay with Gloria and Jay, while their house is being fumigated. 

13 - Little Bo Bleep

Written By: Cindy Chupack Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 11.89
Claire prepares for her debate with Duane Bailey; Mitch and Cam try to clean up Lily's language before her turn as a flower girl; Jay blames Stella's strange behavior on Gloria. 

12 - Egg Drop

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 12.12
Jay and Claire take control of their kids' school projects from Manny and Luke, while Haley and Gloria help Phil with a real estate presentation. Elsewhere, Cam and Mitchell meet with a potential birth mother. 

11 - Lifetime Supply

Written By: Jeffrey Richman & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 5.7 Audience: 14.03
Phil contemplates the worst, after missing a call from the doctor. Elsewhere, Javier, Manny's biological father, pays another visit to take his son to the horse races, Mitchell wins an environmental law award, creating a competition between Cam and himself on who has the better trophy, and Gloria tutors Haley in Spanish. 

10 - Express Christmas

Written By: Cindy Chupack Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 12.20
The family gathers at Jay and Gloria's pool on a sunny December day, and realize that everyone will be scattered this coming Christmas, so they set off with their respective duties to throw an impromptu Christmas celebration. Therefore, Mitchell, Alex and Lily search for a tree, Jay and Cameron wrap gifts, Phil and Manny shop for the groceries, Gloria and Luke retrieve the angel, that Claire and Mitchell's mother made them, from the attic, and Claire and Haley shop for last-minute gifts. 

09 - Punkin Chunkin

Written By: Ben Karlin Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.3 Audience: 12.72
A former neighborhood resident, now rich and successful, returns for a visit; Jay thinks Manny needs constructive criticism; Mitchell questions the authenticity of Cameron's colorful childhood stories. 

08 - After the Fire

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 5.6 Audience: 12.91
The Pritchetts rally for a good cause after a neighbor's house burns down, but there's a downside to their Samaritan intentions when Jay injures his back, Cameron takes on a moving truck and some donated toys fall into the wrong hands.

07 - Treehouse

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 5.7 Audience: 13.37
Gloria persuades Jay to commit to a night of salsa dancing after seeing how much his friend Shorty (Chazz Palminteri) and his girlfriend (Jennifer Tilly) do together. Meanwhile, Cameron makes a bet that he can get a woman's (Leslie Mann) phone number at the bar; and Phil builds a tree house for Luke.

06 - Go Bullfrogs!

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Scott Ellis
Rating: 5.7 Audience: 13.04
When Phil takes Haley to his alma mater on a trip to visit colleges, Claire persuades Mitchell and Cameron to include her in their boys' night out. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay are alarmed at how fast Manny appears to be growing up.

05 - Hit and Run

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 5.9 Audience: 13.65
Phil and Claire's encounter with an annoying city councilman (David Cross) on the campaign trail gets Claire thinking about throwing her hat into the ring. Meanwhile, Gloria's offers for help fall on deaf ears with Jay, who's frustrated at work, and Manny, who's worried about school; and Mitchell and Cameron have a hit-and-run fender bender that leads to a confrontation with a kid who's bothering Haley. 

04 - Door to Door

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 5.7 Audience: 13.24
Jay is determined to help Manny sell wrapping paper for a school fundraiser. Meanwhile, Claire petitions the city for a stop sign to be installed at a high-traffic intersection. Also, Mitchell tries to prove a point with Cameron, and neither one of them will back down and Phil and Luke attempt to create a viral video sensation. Finally, Gloria is desperate to find Stella after losing her. 

03 - Phil On Wire

Written By: Bianca Douglas & Danny Zuker Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 5.7 Audience: 13.45
The growing bond between Jay and the dog, Stella, gets on Gloria's nerves. Meanwhile, Phil and Luke go on a tightrope, but it's Claire with the missteps, as she tries to teach the girls a life lesson. Also, Cam starts a juice fast. 

02 - When Good Kids Go Bad

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 6.1 Audience: 14.53
Mitchell and Cameron plan an evening with the whole family to break the happy news that they're attempting to adopt another child. However, things go poorly when they realize that Lily may not take well to another baby in the house. Meanwhile, Claire and Jay are each focused on proving a point. 

01 - Dude Ranch

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh & Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 6.1 Audience: 14.53

While vacationing at Lost Creek Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, the three families try their hands at a little cattle herding, skeet shooting and horseback riding. There are also some big firsts, a huge surprise, and an actual face-off between Jay and a cowboy named Hank (Tim Blake Nelson).

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24 - The One That Got Away

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh & Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Jim Bagdonas
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.31
Jay wants to go fishing on his birthday, but the family insists he have a big party, leading Claire and Mitchell to get trapped in their childhood yard, Phil to encounter his college nemesis at the mall and Cameron to have trouble at the bakery. 

23 - See You Next Fall

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.30
The whole family gathers at Jay's house before heading out to Alex's graduation ceremony from middle school, but while at the house, Jay is preoccupied hiding a botox mishap from everyone, Cameron is upset about Mitchell's habit of laughing at him, and Phil tries to sympathize with, yet also criticizes Claire on her impending breakdown over the kids growing up too fast. 

22 - Good Cop Bad Dog

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Fred Savage
Rating: 4.3 Audience: 10.15
Jay advises a dog trainer, while Phil and Claire switch parenting duties to the kids' chagrin. Mitchell has an extra Lady Gaga ticket when Cameron ends up sick. 

21 - Mother's Day

Written By: Dan O'Shannon & Ilana Wernick Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.90
Claire and Gloria's Mother's Day excursion outdoors with the kids turns into the mother of all disasters. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay share an awkward moment after Jay finds a letter he wrote to his mom on a past Mother's Day when they stay home to prepare dinner for everyone; and Mitchell attempts to show his appreciation for Cameron by bringing him breakfast in bed on Mother's Day; causing Cameron to worry about the gender roles in his relationship with Mitchell. 

20 - Someone to Watch Over Lily

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 9.95
Mitchell and Cameron are looking to assign legal guardians for Lily in case anything were to happen to them, and are secretly assessing their family members. But no one is blowing their socks off, as they witness Jay giving Manny a dose of tough love, Claire secretly taking Luke to a child psychologist to assess his development, and Haley and Alex getting into some delinquent activities at school. 

19 - The Musical Man

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.61
Cameron takes control of the spring musical at Luke and Manny's school, while Jay's brother pays him a visit with a shocking secret, and Phil tries to get the family to be in his new real estate advertisement, though it does not turn out the way it should have. 

18 - Boys' Night

Written By: Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 4.4 Audience: 10.90
Phil and Claire are fearful when they find out that Luke has befriended their old neighbor, Mr. Kleezak. Jay tries to avoid sitting through a symphony concert with Gloria and Manny, but unfortunately is forced to hang out with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out", while Haley is babysitting Lily. 

17 - Two Monkeys and a Panda

Written By: Carol Leifer Directed By: Beth McCarthy-Miller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.11
While Claire runs herself ragged trying to play peacemaker with Haley and Alex, Phil sneaks off for a nice relaxing day at the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two primo side-by-side crypts in preparation of the inevitable future, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted -- however, during the process he unearths artifacts that are quite disturbing. 

16 - Regrets Only

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Dean Parisot
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.17
Phil and Claire had a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was over, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil and Jay takes Claire. Meanwhile, Jay may have some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fundraising event and enlists help from Mitchell and Luke -- which might not be the best choices. 

15 - Princess Party

Written By: Elaine Ko Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.3 Audience: 10.57
The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay. Things get even more strange when DeDe (Shelley Long) shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend (Matt Dillon) in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits.

14 - Bixby's Back

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 13.16
Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from the previous year; Jay's elaborate Valentine's surprise for Gloria keeps getting held up; an admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell.

13 - Caught in the Act

Written By: Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.6 Audience: 10.94
While Manny is away visiting his father, Gloria and Jay are about to go on vacation, but their plans are interrupted when they accidentally send an insulting email to Claire. When they go to the Dunphys' house to apologize, they find Claire and Phil in a state of dismay because their kids have just walked in on them having intercourse. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron have trouble getting reservations at a popular new restaurant, so they try to ingratiate themselves with the restaurant's owner, who is one of the parents at Lily's preschool.

12 - Our Children, Ourselves

Written By: Dan O'Shannon & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Adam Shankman
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 10.19
Alex's dedication to learning makes Phil & Claire question themselves. Gloria tries to meet new friends. Mitchell runs into an ex-girlfriend while out with Cameron

11 - Slow Down Your Neighbors

Written By: Ilana Wernick Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 11.83
Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a car that speeds through their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny and Gloria how to ride a bike, and Mitchell and Cameron meet a charming mysterious neighbor.

10 - Dance Dance Revelation

Written By: Ilana Wernick Directed By: Gail Mancuso
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 11.08
At Luke and Manny's first school dance, Jay and Phil take them to the mall which turns disastrous, Claire's happiness turns into jealousy when Gloria joins the school dance committee. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell learn about Lily biting other kids at the playground.

09 - Mother Tucker

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 10.57
Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barbra Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay. Jay has a little stomach ache gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the internet.

08 - Manny Get Your Gun

Written By: Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 12.09
Everyone gathers at a restaurant for Manny's birthday when Manny has a mini-life crisis of getting older, Phil and Claire have a race to see who can get there faster, and Mitchell and Cam get stuck at the mall looking for a gift. 

07 - Chirp

Written By: Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 12.24
Claire & Haley are at home sick while Phil tries to find an annoying chirping smoke detector. Gloria and Manny go to Jay's work place much to Jay's dismay and Cameron takes Lily to a commercial shoot against Mitchell's wishes.

06 - Halloween

Written By: Jeffrey Richman Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 13.14
Claire loves Halloween and is gearing up to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters. She gives each family member a role to play, but none of it goes quite right... Cameron can't shake a traumatic childhood experience and hates the holiday, Mitchell has had a terrible day at work, and Gloria is acting weird after Jay and Manny teased her about her accent. 

05 - Unplugged

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.7 Audience: 11.97
Phil, Claire, and the kids try to improve their communication skills by giving up their electronic devices. Gloria is getting obsessed over a neighbor's barking dog, and Mitchell and Cameron try to find a preschool for Lily. 

04 - Strangers on a Treadmill

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Scott Ellis
Rating: 4.8 Audience: 11.45
Claire and Mitchell try to spare their significant others from embarrassment; Haley tries to teach Alex how to be cool. 

03 - Earthquake

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.6 Audience: 11.44
Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with the plumber when an earthquake hits, and Phil scrambles to hide the damage. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell try to evade a friend's party, and Jay takes Manny golfing instead of going to church. 

02 - The Kiss

Written By: Abraham Higginbotham Directed By: Scott Ellis
Rating: 4.6 Audience: 11.92
After Claire finds flirty texts from a boy on Alex's phone, Claire tells Haley to give her advice, in which she tells Alex to kiss the boy, which makes her go up to the boy, and ask him in front of his friends, embarrassing him. Mitchell is having trouble kissing Cam in public, Phil works hard to fix Jay's printer, and Jay must cope with Gloria's customs. 

01 - The Old Wagon

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 5.1 Audience: 12.67
Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon, but only after a family trip down memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily. 
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24 - Family Portrait

Written By: Ilana Wernick Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.14
Claire makes an effort to take a new family portrait, but everybody is too busy to cooperate: Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and share an awkward moment on the jumbotron, Cameron gets a job as a wedding singer while Mitchell takes care of Lilly and a stray pigeon, and Luke interviews Jay for a school project.

23 - Hawaii

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Steven Levitan
Rating: 4.3 Audience: 10.34
Jay's plans to do nothing but relax on vacation are interrupted by an unwelcome reality check. Meanwhile, Phil tries to make the trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron disagree on whether they should go sight-seeing, and the kids get themselves into trouble. 

22 - Airport 2010

Written By: Dan O'Shannon & Bill Wrubel Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.48
Gloria surprises Jay with a trip to Hawaii for his birthday, but he isn't pleased to find out that the entire family is tagging along. When everyone arrives at the airport, chaos ensues with forgotten identification, breaches of security, and flying phobias.

21 -

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Seth Gordon
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.01
Claire is suspicious when Phil's father shows up for an expected visit. Manny is traumatized by a horror movie. Cam fills the void in Dylan's band for a drummer.

20 - Benched

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 8.88
Phil and Jay have a series of encounters regarding authority and basketball. Mitchell meets his new boss, then he and Cameron accidentally destroy his Ferrari. Gloria and Claire's children demand less coddling

19 - Game Changer

Written By: Vanessa McCarthy & Joe Lawson Directed By: Kevin Sullivan
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.51
iPad release day falls on Phil's birthday, giving Claire an opportunity to finally score an ideal gift for her technophile husband. Manny and Gloria humor Jay—a sore loser at board games—by suppressing their superior chess skills. Mitchell questions his ability to protect his family, while crossed baby monitor signals compel Cameron to secretly intervene in the love life of a neighboring couple. 

18 - Starry Night

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 9.18
Claire and Phil take rival approaches to keeping Haley and Luke focused on projects that are due the next day. Manny's ribbing of Mitchell during a trip with Jay causes tension between the three. Cameron tries to make amends with Gloria for past awkward encounters with a night out in her old neighborhood. 

17 - Truth Be Told

Written By: Joe Lawson Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 8.95
Phil meets an old girlfriend on Facebook. Jay accidentally kills Manny's turtle. Mitchell tells his boss the truth.

16 - Fears

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Reggie Hudlin
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 10.11
Phil and Luke go into the crawlspace under the house, Haley takes her drivers test, Manny tries to get over his fear of roller coasters and Lily says "Mommy" which upsets Cameron and Mitchell. 

15 - My Funky Valentine

Written By: Jerry Collins Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 9.83
Claire and Phil spice things up on Valentine's Day. Mitchell and Cameron help Manny with a bully. Jay and Gloria go to a comedy show. 

14 - Moon Landing

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.9 Audience: 9.19
Things get a little awkward for Jay and Cameron when they go to the gym. An old friend from work visits Claire. Gloria gets into a minor car accident and Mitchell agrees to be her lawyer.

13 - Fifteen Percent

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 9.83
Mitchell convinces Jay that his friend might be gay. Claire tries to learn how to use the TV remote. Manny has a blind date.

12 - Not in My House

Written By: Caroline Williams Directed By: Chris Koch
Rating: 3.2 Audience: 7.85
Gloria hates Jay's life-sized dog butler statue. Claire freaks out when she thinks Luke has been looking at naughty pictures on the computer, but they were actually sent to Phil. Mitchell gets upset at Cameron for helping other people too much.

11 - Up All Night

Written By: Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Michael Spiller
Rating: 4.1 Audience: 10.22
Manny's father visits; Phil takes a trip to the hospital. Mitchell and Cameron dispute over a parenting technique.

10 - Undeck the Halls

Written By: Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Randall Einhorn
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 9.67
Claire and Phil threaten to take away Christmas when the kids get in trouble; Cameron and Mitchell take Lily to get her first picture with Santa. 

09 - Fizbo

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 2.4 Audience: 7.12
When Phil and Claire try to throw a party for Luke, things go wrong and leads to a trip to the emergency room; Cameron decides to dress up as his clown character Fizbo; Manny has a hard time impressing a girl after taking advice from Jay. 

08 - Great Expectations

Written By: Joe Lawson Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 7.06
It is Claire and Phil's anniversary and Jay is having the grand kids over for the night. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron reunite with an old friend.

07 - En Garde

Written By: Danny Zuker Directed By: Randall Einhorn
Rating: 3.5 Audience: 8.77
Manny takes up fencing and he is quite talented. Jay is very proud of Manny, which stirs up resentment in Mitchell. These feelings cause Mitchell to confront Claire about something from their past. 

06 - Run for Your Wife

Written By: Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.7 Audience: 9.33
It is the first day of school and Jay and Gloria fight about Manny's outfit. While the kids are at school, Claire wants some quiet time, but Phil has other ideas. Mitchell and Cameron freak out about a minor incident with Lily. 

05 - Coal Digger

Written By: Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 8.66
Manny and Luke get into a fight at school. The family gathers at Jay and Gloria's to watch football. Claire and Gloria get into an argument.

04 - The Incident

Written By: Steven Levitan Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.6 Audience: 9.35
Mitchell and Claire's mother visits the family months after she embarrassed Jay and Gloria in front of their family during their wedding. Phil and Claire try to judge whether Haley's boyfriend, Dylan, is acceptable to take her to a concert or not. Mitchell goes to his father's house to tell him that they are inviting his ex-wife to a party, but doesn't tell Gloria

03 - Come Fly With Me

Written By: Dan O'Shannon Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.4 Audience: 8.82
Jay tries to spend some time alone with his model airplane, but Phil ruins it; Alex and Gloria go to a mall and Gloria tries to convince Alex to wear a dress to a wedding; Mitchell goes to Costco for the first time in his life.

02 - The Bicycle Thief

Written By: Bill Wrubel Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 3.8 Audience: 9.99
Jay tries to show his stepson he can be a good father; Phil tries to teach his son a lesson by stealing his bike, but gets in trouble when he discovers he got the wrong bike; and Cameron and Mitchell bring Lily to a play group and try to act straight

01 - Pilot

Written By: Steven Levitan & Christopher Lloyd Directed By: Jason Winer
Rating: 4.2 Audience: 12.61
Jay's family tries to function despite the age difference between himself and his second wife, Gloria. Claire's and Phil's family tries to punish their son and watch over their eldest daughter and her new boyfriend. Mitchell tries to hide the fact that he and his partner Cameron have just adopted a baby daughter in Vietnam from his family until Cameron invites Mitchell's family without consulting him (which is revealed to be the other two families, Jay being Mitchell's father and Claire being Mitchell's older sister).
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